Opposites DON’T Attract

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We grow up hearing so many conventions, sayings and cliches, that they end up secured in our sub conscious memory. Result- every choice, decision and judgement revolves around these adages unknowingly. One such cliched statement that disguises to hold true in relationships is – Opposites Attract!

This was, or may be still is not only a popular interpretation of relationships, but also one of the most conveniently used pick up lines, ever! When we are young with not much conscience about ourselves or the awareness for the need of knowing ourselves, we end up making choices that may not necessarily do any good. One such instance is ending up in relationships due to an immaturity to realize what we actually want or mere lack of judgement.

A shy boy meets this outgoing girl and he is instantly mesmerized by her charming personality. He falls for her ability to express herself and her gregarious nature. Well, just like any romantic novel or a movie, they are attracted to each other, end up in a relationship and enjoy a sunset together, relying on the masked fact of- Opposites attract!! They enjoy each others company and keep spending more time together. It’s all wonderful and beautiful during their initial lovey-dovey stages of love life. But the real problem sprouts in the long run, when they reveal much more about each other, only to realize how different they are! Well ya! That’s how they got together in the first place, duh!

They no longer find their partners attractive. The extroverted quality that he admired, seems to slowly turn noisy and annoying. The shy guy that she loved and respected, turned out to be a hindrance to her outgoing personality. The attraction fades away as they realize their differences. This is a mere example of one of the scenarios. Well, the differences might be extensive. It could be due to opposite personality traits, career choices, goals, ambitions or values.

Opposites attract- and then can’t stand each other

Kenneth Kaye

As the phrase suggests in itself, it is merely an attraction. An attraction that has no promise to last forever. But there are cases where this phrase actually worked, when partners are poles apart, but lived happily ever after. It could be an outcome of complementing each other consistently or a constant struggle to make their relationship work, rather than mere attraction. The bottom line is- relationships will or will not work due to various reasons, but there is no truth in “Opposites always attracting!”  Well yes, may be in science, for magnetic poles, but not in relationships!

The choice of your partner depends on your perception of yourself.

Yes. It’s all you again and your mind! We always want to end up with the right ones, don’t we? But why do we screw up? What makes things go wrong? It’s because we never knew what we are! Nor did we know what we want. Self analysis helps us prevent mistakes we regret. It’s all in the perception of ourselves!

People who love themselves at a greater level, often end up falling for people similar to them. Why? – Because they are sure of what gives them comfort and what repels them. A reserved person, who loves himself/ herself for being reserved, may actually only enjoy the company of a person with similar personality and interests. Because in the long run, that’s how they will be!

An introverted person who is not really comfortable in his/ her own self, looks for or gets attracted to an extroverted personality. But it’s important to be sure if that will last forever. It will, if they really are unhappy about their introverted nature, wanting to get out of their shell and crave for someone to complement them.

It is essential to recognize the principles that matter the most to us. Choosing a partner with similar or opposite values, depends entirely on our perception of what is important to us.

Recent studies have shown that opposite similar values and views are needed for a healthy and lasting relationship. Many people with similar backgrounds/ professions actually end up longer together. This works, if you believe different career choices might actually cause disturbances.

No two people are alike. No matter how hard we strive to find someone like us, there will be things that are opposing and different.  It is necessary to not only enjoy the similarities, but also to appreciate the differences, thus complementing each other. Knowing what similarities or differences to admire, is up to us and our belief of ourselves. This paves way to make the right decision, rather than any pre- existing notions or adages. In the end, any relationship needs effort and commitment to keep it going.

So, understand yourself before you get ‘attracted’ to someone, because circumspection is always better than repentance.

 

Weekly Discover ChallengeConventional Wisdom

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20 thoughts on “Opposites DON’T Attract

  1. As long as society is a reality, clichΓ©s and decisions influenced by them are also going to be realities.
    You make a pertinent point that we should first learn about ourselves before trying to find people who can complete us. And that is a difficult and unattended thing.
    Excellent explanation of your points here. Wonder whether you’d like to create a fictional post along the same lines. Would you?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true! Cliches are here to stay, but it is us who needs to be mindful before sticking to them blindly. Else, the results are, as you know..not very pleasing. Yes, self analysis is never thought about. We take the other person for granted and start judging them. But the point is to know one self thoroughly before even hurting the other one. I could elaborate more on this. Fictional story is a great idea!! πŸ‘πŸΌ I’d love to, as I wish to learn to write fiction, I feel I’m not really good at it though. You mean writing on the lines of opposites don’t attract?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The results aren’t pleasing. Haha. 😁
        Fictional story weaved around a couple who are opposites. They could be anywhere. Maybe in your field of work. That’d give it a new dimension because the college romance is a worn-out clichΓ©. Now which direction you want to take the protagonists, that’s your decision. But I think you can see the potential for creating a storyline with those characters. Opposites in any given way, or every way. Not just extrovert and introvert.
        As for fiction writing, the trick is the same. Write more and more of it. I follow the school of thought that says you can create good stuff after creating a lot of crap. So maybe your first few wouldn’t be as good as you want them to be but, with time and practice, you know how things would turn out, don’t you? πŸ˜‰πŸ˜

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hehe yes, hopefully! πŸ˜œπŸ˜ƒ I’m more inclined towards reality than fiction, but I badly want to learn. Yes, college romance is not interesting anymore. May be I could create characters around this. I think I can create a fictional post, from your mentioned lines. Thanks a lot for sprouting this idea, so that I don’t have an excuse to say- “I don’t know what to write!” πŸ˜¬πŸ˜„ And I like the thought- Good stuff is created from a lot of crap, hehe. πŸ˜‚

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      3. You want to learn, that means you have the urge to learn the thing. And there’s no secret there. I’m learning myself, we all are. And yes, you can easily create a series from the ideas here. Not just *a* post, but an entire series. Up for it? A series where you take these two people through an entire experience? Because, you know, now you agree that you can’t say you have no idea. 😝😝
        That thought drives me forward, towards more crap. 😁😁

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      4. Hahahaha, no!! I can safely say your stuff is beyond the crap stage! 😁 But I’m glad this conversation is driving you towards a post, that’s what blogging community is all about. Well, series, I wonder if I can prolong the story so much πŸ€”. May be that’s easier than a short story, lol. How many posts do you think should make up a series?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. As many as you want. Start with creating basic versions of your main characters. See how many supporting characters you want in the series. Finalise a setting for the story and occupation for the leads. Then start writing. See how you feel after you’ve drafted one or two installments. I think you’d have a fair idea by then. And honestly, don’t fret about the number of posts now, or even when writing a particular part. Let the story drive you. Two important things would be to do as much editing as you can and making as much effort towards making the story satisfying as you can. That would provide creative satisfaction and involve the reader that much more. What say?

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Wow! This should be your next writing series post- steps to create a fiction/short story!πŸ˜ƒ Thank you for the step by step elaboration, helps clear the clutter and focus on developing the idea. Hmmm, true, since it’s a series, letting the story drive is motivating, irrespective of the number. Yes, I think creative satisfaction is hard to attain and needs work. Well, sounds very interesting and challenging! πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜Š

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great post, and something that I’ve been struggling with and trying to find of my own. As my blog shows I am quite introverted and 2 out of the 3 guys I’ve been in relationships were extroverts, the third one and I were just too different (although I was willing to try things he liked, he wasn’t willing to try what I liked)
    Anyway, this was a great post for me, keep writing like this, I’d like to read more

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much your lovely comments!!😊😊Not all relationships work, but the worthy ones will definitely find your way! I’ll be glad to hop over your blog soon. Just know that you are not alone! 😊 Highly appreciate your thoughts on this, thanks a lot for stopping by!! πŸ˜„

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