The fading sentimental fool

Growing up is a complicated process. No, I’m not referring to the biological sense of growing that occurs effortlessly.  But about mental and emotional growth. It is definitely complex. When I look back to my old self a decade ago, I can undeniably call myself sentimental. Not that I’m not sentimental anymore! I still am the same with varying degrees of it. The fact that I’m actually getting nostalgic about my old self, shows that the sentimental fool still exists in me.

Though I was never a drama queen sort of a person, I was immensely attached to every living and non-living thing that mattered to me. I trusted blindly in few object oriented things and believed those brought me luck.

For instance, I used the same pencil case throughout my schooling for 12 long years, irrespective of its wear n tear! Wow! Really? Was that even me? Sigh!

I still remember few kids at school making fun of the ‘then old fashioned’ pencil box. I never really cared about what people commented on those things, as long as I have them with me.

I find it silly now, but back then I believed that was the reason behind my good grades. I was attached to it with fear. Fear of failing if I don’t use it. I had many ‘priced possessions’ like these that I was sentimental about. Mostly the ones related to my education. Why? Because doing well in studies was the sole reason of my existence then!

Before you judge me that I’m so materialistic, let me tell you, I’m also insanely attached to people and places. And the best punishment for my emotional attachment was my dad’s transfer every now and then.

It was such a pain! At that tender age, when you start relishing every aspect of life which are playing and studying, you do not want any turbulence. Once I got accustomed to the new place, made friends and loved going to school…Boom! Another transfer! The thought of new place, new culture, new language, new school, new syllabus, new people and everything new was horrifying. By the time I got used to a place and loved everything about it, I would see myself wake up in a different latitude and longitude the next morning!

For someone who gets emotionally attached easily and is sentimental, it is hard to withstand distance. Distance from loved ones and favorite places. Traveling can give you wonderful experiences. But visiting a place can be different from actually living there. When we visit, we look at it as a location, but when we live at a place, we consider it to be home. For a sentimental fool like me, changing homes was never easy.

Lately, I’ve observed drastic change in my sentimental personality. I find it easier to travel and relocate myself. Getting accustomed and living on the other side of the globe has been a cake walk!  Culture shock is no longer intimidating and I look forward for it. I do not have any more mad fondness on houses that I considered home nor do I believe in any materialistic things bringing me luck.

However, I still have a deep attachment to my loved ones, but I understand this connection better. Over the years of moving around and living in different places, facing situations that were least expected and watching helplessly when loved ones pass away has only faded the sentimental me.

I’m still unclear about this disappearing tender personality of mine. I do not know if it’s making me emotionally rigid or it is a way of making me stronger. Thinking on the bright side, every place/ person I was sentimental about has only made me an adaptive person.

Because, situations that once broke you, are the ones that made you!

 

Daily Prompt Sentimental

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17 thoughts on “The fading sentimental fool

  1. Great post. Well written. Love the way you’ve put it. Surely it would have been hard for you to let go things and move on but I’m sure these life experiences would’ve made you resilient.

    Have a great day!
    Arcane owl

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well we all have some tendencies of attachment towards materials in someway. Let’s say an object given by someone we love or very close to us. May be that makes us feel they are with us even when they aren’t physically with us. Has that happened with you. Yeah of course even I’m more emotionally attached to my loved one..when u get too much attached it become difficult to accept reality when people start moving away with their priorities..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! Attachment towards materials could be for various reasons. I do have an emotional attachment to things that remind me of my loved ones. As you mentioned, it makes me feel their presence, when they are physically absent. I do agree that it’s hard to accept reality, but life goes on and we learn something out of every experience we undergo! Thank you so much for reading and giving your wonderful thoughts on it! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I so appreciate your offering…you write beautifully, but what got me was the topic. Even as I embrace growth, I, too, sometimes wonder who I’ll be if I am not the me I have been used to for so long…I am so sentimental, but increasingly, less so…or maybe not…and, I think the reason for my ambivalent knowing (an oxymoron, I realize) is because I cannot fully commit to releasing parts of who I am, until I am sure that I will retain what makes me wonderful…
    Anyway, your post triggered this thought…and, that should let you know that you have something special to offer 🙂 Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I cannot thank you enough! Means a lot to me! 😀 Thank you so much!! I love the word oxymoron that you used. That’s exactly how I feel. There comes a point, where we aren’t sure if we miss our old self or are happy with our current self. May be all the confusion we undergo is a part of evolving and growing up. 🙂 Thanks a lot for reading! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. great post. I too am sentimental- I can kind of relate to the moving around part. I became rebellious. Being sentimental about people in my books is okay. There is so much meaning placed on replaceable objects. thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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